Vulcan Biometrics – Part 1

A Star Trek Enterprise Fanfic

Land acknowledgement: This book was written on the unceded territory of the Mixtec Nation in Oaxaca State, Mexico.

Copyright notice: This is a work of independent fan fiction and is in no way affiliated with or used by Paramount or its affiliates.


“Well, that’s why they say, hot like Vulcan!” Dr. McCoy, “Amok Time.” (Star Trek: The Original Series, S2E1 “Amok Time.”).


Shi’Kaar, Vulcan, Stardate 2167

    His eyes might change, Trip said. Sometimes it happens with human children. They are born with blue eyes, but they change.

    The months passed by and his eyes stayed blue. T’Pol decided it was easier and safer to hide him than to explain him.

    Nobody in this era would have believed it even if she had tried to name Trip as the father, never mind the social and political implications. The former Chief Engineer of the Enterprise was supposed to be dead, and his present circumstances were a dangerous secret.

    T’Pol was a controversial figure on Vulcan for working so closely with humans already. Rumors that she had given birth to one had deepened the rift.

    Those hysterical, illogical, smelly things. The Vulcan High Command was wise to keep them out of space.

    How could she have lowered herself?

    And what kind of dangerous creature would it be?

Glasses or lenses would hide her son’s eyes, turning them the same lightless hue as any passing Vulcan.

Officially, Selek was the child of Koss, T’Pol’s former husband. Despite him being incredulous initially, since a Vulcan-Human hybrid was thought to be a biological impossibility, he agreed to play along. Just for the sake of scientific curiosity, of course.


Tinsha Monastery, Khomi Province, Vulcan – Star Date 2197

       Selek could still hear the blood rushing in his ears and the echo of the gong. The thin, dry air was heavy with the smell of copper. His lungs contracted, shortening his breath. The pain of his wounds only seemed to enrage him further, as if his muscles could contract and burst from his own skin.

It is said the body is in torment, but the mind remains unclouded.

He remembered everything vividly. The memory of the duel was still fresh, and it was flooding his mind like the pool of blood open and growing on the warm stone.

His breath was short again, and he was choking, gasping to breathe, and failing. The sound was drowned out by a jarring memory of his own rage and the whistle of the tirpan as it swung through the air.

Selek felt the cold of an infirmary bed against his back and understood. T’Nedara was nearby.

           The sea of dark green that had reached up to consume him thinned, and the bells and gongs faded. A coolness touched his forehead and spread to his eyes and mouth.

The rushing in his ears stopped and he heard a familiar voice.

            The mind controls the body

            Control The Mind

            And the Body will follow

Selek exhaled heavily, and felt his joints loosen and his muscles unravel. He took a deep breath, and the air in his lungs seemed to draw him upward.

The prayer was based on Surak’s teachings and was repeated often in the temple. He pushed some air through his mouth and found he could speak again, and repeated the chant.

            The mind controls the body

            Control The Mind

            And the Body will follow

Light came back into his eyes and his vision cleared. She was kneeling next to him, a bowl of watery green liquid and piles of cloth bandages were close at hand.

Her index and middle fingers were pressed against his forehead. It was a chant derived from the Way of Hakihr, a monastic tradition descended from the Kolinahru. This was an ancient Vulcan sect that turned its psychic energy inward as an interpretation of Surak’s teachings.

The chant had revived him.

            “T’Nedara,” he spoke carefully, his breathing still painful.

            “Selek,” She answered him calmly, but her hands were visibly trembling. He tried to sit up, but he moved too quickly and winced in pain.

It was difficult to hide her alarm.

“No, don’t move,” she said, trying to sound like the calm and logical expert in Biometrics that she was every day. She touched her fingers to his forehead again.

He closed his eyes and raised his hand to take hers. He said nothing, but he could feel her nerves humming at the same rate as his own. His eyes were blurred sweat and tears, but he was able to give her a questioning look.

“My blood burns with yours,” She said softly. “You have defeated your rival, as the Vulcan laws are written.”

Selek wanted to speak, but the air caught in his throat. She pressed her two fingers against his mouth, and not only to silence him. For a Vulcan, this was a moment of passion, a frenzied kiss in a rushed moment.

The light touch of her fingers and the air from her mouth brushing against his face calmed his nerves from the duel, yet drove him into another frenzy.

She undid the clasp of her robe. It slipped away from her body. They lay down together in the infirmary bed.

“I claim my Champion,” she held him close, and their burning blood was cooled. 

The gong sounded. The trial of the Kal If Fe had ended.


The Flying Cat

A Guide to Feline Air Travel

Travel with pets has also become more common, and travel culture has evolved to reflect the trend. Taking the family dog seems to get a lot of press, but what about our feline friends? It’s actually quite easy to travel with a cat, even on a plane.

This short guide can help you travel safely and efficiently with your furry friend.

When Cats Fly

Sometimes taking your pet with you is worth alleviating the stress of paying for a kennel or finding a sitter. It’s not as complex or terrifying as it sounds. With just some simple advance planning, and you and your feline friend can travel together with confidence and comfort.

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The same make and model of a basic, hard-sided carrier. In 2002, cargo was often mandatory for live animals and a hard-backed carrying case was essential. Pets now travel in the cabin as long as they can fit.

No matter which airline you choose, or where you’re going, finding a carrying case should be your very first priority. Make sure you have a suitable kennel for your pet to travel in. It must be comfortable enough for your pet to stay in for extended periods of time.

Some airlines will not allow you to fly your cat as cargo due to weather or space constraints but insist that your pet is in the cabin with you. This is a preferable option, as the cargo hold can be cold and cramped, and is usually reserved for larger pets like big dogs.

After taking these things into consideration, you are ready to book your flight.

“Plane” Ahead

Before you book your flight or flights, consider your feline friend. What is their general disposition? Are they young or old, quiet or active?

An energetic or noisy cat might be better flying as cargo but an older, calmer cat can stay with you in the cabin.

Can your cat stay in one spot for a long period of time, perhaps with only a small toy, water, and the occasional snack?

Virtually all airlines allow pets but not without restrictions. It’s generally easier to get a cat on a plane than a dog, as they are smaller and have fewer cultural stigmas.

Contrary to popular belief, airlines almost unanimously request that you not sedate your pet. Sometimes a calming medication can have the opposite effect if the animal is panicked or in an unfamiliar place.

Sedate your pet only if your veterinarian recommends that you do so. Many airports have pet-friendly areas that you and your pet can use to rest between flights. Some charter or “no frills” airlines still do not allow pets at all because of space and baggage issues.

The major carriers usually have all choices available. Your cat can travel in the cabin with you, in the luggage compartment if you go on the same on the same flight, or departing as cargo on another flight.

Certain carrying equipment and accessories will be mandatory in transit. You will be required to purchase them on the road if you don’t have them, which will be more expensive and cause delays.

Visit the Vet

Getting your cat’s health checked by a vet and officially certified are two of the biggest steps you and your cat have to take.

Aside from the documents for customs, the airline will require their own documentation that describes the cat’s vital statistics (weight, age, size, color) and confirms that it has a clean bill of health. Find these vital statistics by using the equipment at the veterinarian’s office instead of your scale at home. Measure the length from the tip of the tail to the tip of the nose, and the height from the floor to the top of the shoulder, and obtain written confirmation regarding your pet’s measurements from your vet.

Ask your vet about motion sickness medication for your pet even if they are a seasoned traveler. Try to choose something that won’t sedate them. Get as much documentation as possible regarding vaccinations, chronic conditions or surgeries.

Up-to-date rabies shots are required for any cross-border travel and may also be required by a motel or other kinds of transportation.

Most airlines will only require certification of a recent vet examination and confirmation of rabies shots as a health certification. This will most likely need to be accompanied by a similar certification from a government agency, such as the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) or the CFIA (Canadian Food Inspection Agency).

Island nations such as Japan, England and Australia are notoriously strict and will require at least a few weeks of quarantine regardless of your preparations.

Countries like South Korea, Canada and Mexico have minimal requirements of rabies shot and a clean bill of health. The US is also very accessible with the exception of Hawaii. Check with the embassy of the country that you wish to visit for the exact forms and regulations.

Follow these steps to the letter. Failing to do so might result in you and your pet being turned away, or even worse, your cat could be euthanized. Avoid this nightmare and be prepared!

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Pangur Ban, always an enthusiastic traveler. He’s sitting in a soft-backed carrier that’s the required size for a trip with you in the cabin. The hard plastic carrier below can also fit under an airline seat.

Purry Landing

Make sure that you have the proper paperwork on hand if you are crossing an international border. You should have at least two copies of each.

Bring a supply of any medications or special food your pet needs. These might be difficult to find depending on where you’re going.

Rent a car with a pet-friendly company to avoid dealing with trains or public transit, which usually do not allow pets unless they are working animals. Uber or other rideshare programs also have these options.

Consider your arrival arrangements carefully. Determine if you will need a hotel and for how long. Budget carefully, as motels often require pet deposits, and pet-friendly rooms can be more expensive.

You will be required by the motel to provide a contact number to confirm your reservations (this will also be required by the airline, if applicable) and details regarding your furry friend, including its measurements and weight.


There are many reasons to take your cat with you when you travel.

Perhaps you are taking an extended vacation and your affectionate, sensitive feline companion can’t bear to be left alone. Maybe you’re taking an employment contract overseas that might last months or even years and you can’t bear to give your best friend away.

Fear not, as your feline friend is now welcome in airports, planes, and hotels as long as you stay informed and plan ahead.


References:

Pet Airline Information | Airline Travel Tips | PetTravel.com. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.pettravel.com/passports_airlinetrtips.cfm

Pet Travel Tips. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://petswelcome.com/articles/travel-tips

Pets (Dogs, cats and ferrets) – Animal Health Certificates – Canadian Food Inspection Agency. (2018, March 5). Retrieved from http://www.inspection.gc.ca/animals/terrestrial-animals/exports/live-animals/health-certificates/pets/eng/1321265624789/1321281361100

Travel Training for You and Your Pets. (2017, October 19). Retrieved from https://www.fda.gov/AnimalVeterinary/ResourcesforYou/AnimalHealthLiteracy/ucm352635.htm

The featured image was taken by a neighbor of mine when Chamsae and I lived on Nelson Street in Vancouver. 

Local Superfood

The word “superfood” sounds dramatic, but it’s just a marketing term that refers to certain kinds of nutrient-rich food. This trend overlaps into restaurants, markets, and grocery stores.

Blueberries, kale, and salmon are famous examples. I also see plants like bamboo as hemp as a superfood, since they can do so many things other than being food. Related to the superfood craze is the juicing trend, the popularity of detox drinks and the farm to table restaurant niche.

Image: mangos

Growing up in western Ontario meant that fresh fruit was a novelty just as much as hot, spicy food. Actually, any kind of fresh food was a novelty.

My obsession with the tropics might have something to do with my appreciation for exotic food, especially fruit. Even bananas were a treat back in the day. And there was one variety – yellow.

Yellow with a sticker.

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I remember the novelty of seeing mangoes and coconuts for sale in the grocery store at a certain time of year. They were a luxury, and restrictively expensive.

The mangoes were always a pile of dark green bricks that smelled better than they tasted and the poor little coconuts were barely the size of softballs.

The fresh fruits and veggies I enjoy now are too numerous to count. Cold-pressed juice, fresh seafood and organic vegetables are just a way of life here in Oaxaca.

Here’s a short list of some “superfood” that I see here almost every day.

Mangoes

A colleague at UNISTMO in Tehuantepec told me that there were more than 16 different types of mangoes in Oaxaca alone. I haven’t been able to find a source to back this up, but considering that Oaxaca produces more mangoes than any other state in Mexico, it’s not hard to believe.

The ones I often see are the small yellow local ataufas or the much larger Tommy Atkins variety, which range from green, orange, and deep red. They’re really high in vitamin C and contain minerals like calcium and iron that other fruits don’t often have.

Mangoes are fantastic not only because of the sweet, rich taste and nutritional value but because of all the things you can do with them in the kitchen and workshop.

They work great in smoothies, pancakes, and salads just to name a few. More ambitious crafters use the creamy texture in cosmetics like creams and shampoos.

coconuts

Coconuts

Another food that can also be a million other things. Besides just being great fun to eat, coconut products have a number of amazing health benefits.

Is it the lightly scented oil that’s great for both your skin, in your smoothie and as a cooking ingredient? Or is it the refreshing water that seems to stay colder longer than water? Could it be it the husk, which you can use to build furniture, make jewlery or keep your beach campfire going?

Apparently, you can eat the tender white flesh on the inside, too.

Yes, coconuts contain a lot of fat. Deal with it.

Tamarind

Here’s one you don’t know. It’s a bean that grows in a seed pod from a tree and has to be prepared by being soaked or ground up before you mix it with water or sauce.

Tamarind is also common in India and Southeast Asia. The tart but sweet taste and fibrous texture of tamarind remind me of rhubarb and it has many of the same uses.

That taste comes from the abundant tartaric acid and an indication of the strong antioxidant properties. Then there are the high levels of vitamin A and C, and minerals like calcium and iron. It’s one of the common “aguas fresca” flavors and is commonly used to make sweets, snacks, spreads and pastry filling.

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Jamaica

Here’s one you know, except that you don’t. But you do.

This is not the Caribbean nation that gave us Bob Marley and Grace Jones. This is the name of a herb that comes from a flower, and it’s pronounced “ha-my-kah.” Or you can use the word you’re familiar with; hibiscus.

Hibiscus tea is fairly common throughout the world, but there is a myriad of other things you can do with the dried pods and flowers.

Jamaica resembles cranberry in color and taste and has many of the same health benefits, but I find that it’s not as bitter. It’s got those good citric and tartaric acids and is used to regulate cholesterol and blood pressure.

I’ll keep posting these as I discover them. I originally wanted to add nopal, but then I thought it would be better to do a whole other post on cacti and related plants like aloe vera and different types of agave.

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

 References:

Oaxaca. (n.d.). In Encyclopedia of the Nations – Information about countries of the world, United Nations, and World Leaders. Retrieved from http://www.nationsencyclopedia.com/mexico/Michoac-n-Zacatecas/Oaxaca.html

Shereen Lehman, MS. (2017, March 27). Coconut Nutrition Facts: Calories and Health Benefits. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfit.com/coconut-nutrition-facts-4135199

The Surprising Health Benefits of Hibiscus. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.gaiaherbs.com/articles/detail/42/The-Surprising-Health-Benefits-of-Hibiscus

Trim down club. (2016, August 28). Superfood: Mango Nutrition [Web log post]. Retrieved from http://www.trimdownclub.com/superfood-mango-nutrition/

What Are Superfoods? (11, May). Retrieved from https://www.livescience.com/34693-superfoods.html

What is Tamarind Good For? – Mercola.com [Web log post]. (2018, April 8). Retrieved from https://foodfacts.mercola.com/tamarind.html

The featured image at the top of this article is entitled “desktop-exotic-fruits-and-vegetables-wallpaper” and was taken from http://www.freehdimages.in/wallpaper/desktop-exotic-fruits-and-vegetables-wallpaper/

Remember that scene (skip ahead to 1:01) when the evil Jedi makes Obi-Wan Kenobi eat the poisoned apple because fresh fruit is so delicious that it can ease his physical pain? No? Not part of the official canon anymore, I guess.

The Beach of the Dead

Mexico has a number of famous tourist destinations, but there are still many mysterious places off the beaten path that are waiting to be discovered. Zipolite, also nicknamed “the Beach of the Dead” is one of those special places. Get there before the modern world gentrifies it into one of these charming and fashionable “magical towns.”


Zipolite

Playa De Amor and Roca Blanca

There are probably thousands of beaches in Mexico, but this is the only one in the entire country where nudity is permitted and cannabis is openly smoked by both locals and tourists. Local vendors sell a wide variety of curiosities and handmade treasures. Buy crystals and glass pipes, get a henna tattoo, or indulge in a massage with scented oils. The nightlife is more than decent considering the size of Zipolite, and clubs and bars have names like “El Hongo” (the mushroom). The legacy of the first hippy tourists is alive and well between Playa de Amor and Roca Blanca.

Zipolite is not a big place, but the beach itself is vast and open, clearly marked by Roca Blanca in the west and Playa de Amor in the east. Roca Blanca simply means “white rock” and that’s exactly what you will see on the north end of the beach. This is a haven for seabirds and they’ve branded their personal space in their own distinctive way. Most of the shops, stores, tour guides, bike rentals, transportation, paved roads and other amenities are on the Roca Blanca side of Zipolite. Closer to Playa Amor you’ll find a quieter neighborhood with a soccer field, a quaint seaside church, and a children’s playground along with a few small shops and a relatively peaceful residential neighborhood.

Playa de Amor is the small, sheltered alcove at the very end of the beach on the eastern side. You have to climb a steep stairway to get there but it’s not a long one. In the high season, there’s a small restaurant perched on the top of this rocky outcropping where the stairway dips back down towards the ocean. This tiny beach is hidden in a little cove between two steep hills. There are actually two or three secret little beaches near this spot, and rip tides here are virtually non-existent, so it’s a nice place to safely swim. The rest of the beach is marked with yellow or red flags to denote safe swimming spots. The undertow is no joke and will often shift with the tides, winds, or time of day. Enjoy the ocean but be confident in your swimming skills, listen to the lifeguards, and bring a friend.

The End of the World

Zipolite, afternoon

The southern coast of Oaxaca was virtually untouched by tourism as late as the 1960s, when the first hippies headed south looking for a counterculture haven. They found it here, on a pristine beach that had neither bank, cop shop nor boat launch.

The name, Zipolite comes from the local indigenous Mixtec language and has two possible meanings. The first, which has become a part of the local urban legend and the area’s nickname, is “the Beach of the Dead.” The beach is uncrowded and virtually free of boats because of the dangerous and unpredictable rip tides that make navigation difficult and swimming dangerous. The second meaning, considerably less romantic and therefore likely more accurate, is simply “the place of many hills.” The latter is also accurate and makes for some inexpensive lodgings that still have a first-class view.

The geography of the area, including the ocean itself, also contributes to the ethereal feel Zipolite seems to have. Unlike the beaches to the north, which face west across the Pacific Ocean, Zipolite faces south. To head straight out from Zipolite would take you not to Hawaii, Asia or New Zealand, but to a vast expanse of virtually nothing, at least until the wastes of Antarctica.

The locals share all kinds of stories about the ancient history of the beach and those that were fortunate enough to find it before the days of highways and airplanes. One tall tale is about the ancient Nahuatl people. They were aware of this isolation on some level and would come here to offer sacrifices to the gods of the dead that lived past the end of the world. How true that may be has been long lost in the riptides of time.


I tell the friendly camionetta[1] driver that I don’t need directions, and he’s surprised at first.

I smile and mime smoking a joint. Now he understands, and gives a hearty wave to incoming traffic as we pull back onto the highway.

The folks who know Zipolite know it well.

No rush on this journey. I’m high already. The few hits I took of that nice fat roll before I left Puerto Escondido an hour ago are just starting to wear off. I’m looking forward to a pleasant come-down on the next leg of the ride, which consists of an old truck careening through the jungle. It’s scenic, breezy, and social. The perfect metaphor for life on the Oaxacan coast.

This region of Mexico has yet to see development on the scale of other notorious cities. You’ll still hear sad stories about how Tulum went from fairly rugged and peaceful to a gaudy tourist trap in less than a decade. People curl their lips a bit when they mention Acapulco, about 8 hours up the coast in the neighboring state of Guerrero, but it doesn’t have the history to be any real competition.

Tourists come to Oaxaca on local terms, with means no fear of shameless authenticity and a quiet, steadfast mindset that rejects gentrification. There is little grace for the white man here.

Don’t like the rough roads, menus in Spanish only, or showers with no hot water? Here’s a bus ticket to the Yucatan Peninsula, snowflake. And don’t let the door hit your pasty ass on the way out. 

The transportation I regularly take from Puerto Escondido is what folks back home might refer to as “a chicken bus.” And yes, I have seen chickens on it, along with dogs, cats, and sometimes huge bushels of fresh produce.

I have yet to see a bale of fresh weed, but hope springs eternal.

The junction of San Antonio is the first place I change buses. It’s about an hour and 15 minutes east of Puerto Escondido. For those coming from Huatulco, it’s about the same distance, but you’d get off at the crucecita[2] of Pochutla instead. Take another camionetta through the seaside town of Puerto Angel to reach Zipolite.

Private taxis are also available but coast a lot more. It’s easy to get used to the more economical public transit system if you spend a lot of time here, and I do, so the whole trip from Puerto Escondido to Zipolite takes less than two hours and costs a total of seventy pesos. That’s less than five US dollars.

Excellent. More money for the deadly triumvirate of seafood, cerveza, and cannabis.

The Road to Zipolite

The ride from Puerto was fairly comfortable. I shared a seat with a commuter from Pochutla. It’s common to chat with total strangers on buses here and it took some time for introverted me to get used to it. My travel buddy heading back to his family home after doing some work in Puerto, and jokes that he wasn’t sure if he should talk to me at first, since guerros don’t like to talk to strangers. But the time passes more quickly, don’t you think?

When he finds out where I’m going, everything makes more sense. Only long-term residents and serious tourists can find Zipolite.

I walk just a few meters past the junction to find some shade while I wait for the next ride. I’m not alone for long. An older lady with a plastic tub and a cooler filled with snacks, drinks, and other edible goodies is waiting as well. She’s heading to the beach to sell her wares to stoned and thirsty tourists, and I’m pleased to give her a head start. I happily purchase a bag of roasted peanuts. They mix them with a combination of dried garlic, peppers, and salt. Rich, oily, and crazy delicious.

I caught a buddy of mine throwing out the dried garlic cloves once. Good thing he brought me some amazing hash because I just about killed him.

We’re soon joined by a few other tourists as other buses and taxis drop folks off at the nearby junction. The little camionetta is already full when it comes by, but this is Mexico, where there’s always room for one more. After a moment of everyone working together to rearrange the bags and make a little space for me and the Peanut Lady, we’re off.

It’s standing room only, which is fine, as I’m near the front of the truck and have a clear view of the road ahead. The first leg of the journey takes us past a few lush fields and open ranches, then we make a few sharp turns and the jungle closes in around us. We’ve recently had some heavy rain, so the trees are thick with leaves and the air smells like wet earth and fresh flowers. My sense of smell is heightened while I’m stoned, which can be good or bad. Right now, it’s glorious.

There are several stops along the way, but the first real city we reach is magical Mazunte. Seriously, this is one of Mexico’s “Magical Towns” and it’s the closest thing to a tourist trap in the region. I think of it as gringo flypaper. Most folks who don’t know any better stop here and never go any further west, and that’s what I’m thinking as I watch virtually the whole camionetta disembark.

Good, I think. Fewer people to mess up Zipolite.

Mazunte is nice, but that’s the problem. It’s a haven for hipsters, cruise ship passengers from Huatulco, and rich folks looking for yoga retreats and vegan restaurants. There’s some great shopping here, I have to admit, and when I have some extra cash I indulge in the upscale clothing, cosmetics and sometimes a new pipe.

Today, however, I’m happy to let others enjoy Mazunte while I move on. The last stop in town is by the Turtle Museum, where one person embarks to keep me company on the road to Zipolite.

Like me, this scruffy gentleman has lived in Mexico for a while. He looks like he’s been here since the 1960s and from the odor it’s possible that he hasn’t bathed since then, either. Now that sense of smell isn’t so fun.

He’s holding a fat, oily roach in his hand, which he smokes as he stands on the edge of the bumper, and the heavy purple cloud helps masks the perfume of an old school naturalist. I nod and smile, too overwhelmed with respect to let the smell bother me. It’s because of people like him that Zipolite is what it is.

The Beach of the Living

He offers me a haul, but I can smell the tobacco mix and politely decline, explaining in English, “That’s not how we roll them in Vancouver.” He smiles and laughs, a slight British accent showing through his reply, “Oh, the organic! Good show!”

In the hippy heyday several decades ago, there was virtually nothing connecting the Playa Chica to the outside world. There are legends told about the single dirt road that led to Oaxaca or the occasional boat that would leave from Puerto Angel or Huatulco, but that was all. The neighborhood of Zipolite stayed isolated longer than others. The dangerous currents that surround the beach make it too awkward to land a boat, so any water transportation was also extremely limited.

Despite that, a few intrepid foreigners who loved the alternative lifestyle managed to find it in the late 1960s. They brought with them cannabis, nudity, tolerance in general and an appreciation for a simpler way of living. The legacy endures for others that would follow.

The camionetta turns down a gentle curve, and here we are just outside of Zipolite. I used to get off at the crucecita bit further down, but then discovered a back lane that takes me to the main street a lot faster.

Old Hippie waves as I hop down. He lives nearby, but today he’s heading to Pochutla to find a bank machine.

I call it the back lane, but I have no idea if it has a real name or not, or even if it is a lane. It’s used as a road in the dry season, but it spring turns into a muddy river bed. It used to fork off to the right, but after a tree fell across it during a spring storm a few years back the locals are used it as a foot or bike path. It explodes into a nest of rich yellow flowers every few weeks, which also might be why the locals haven’t moved it.

Bike tracks and footprints line the narrow path that leads behind it. Sooner or later, some motivated local with come down here with a chainsaw and collect some firewood.

I pass a few hostels, houses and shops that start to peek out of the jungle. Most people recognize me from previous visits and wave from their front windows. It’s early summer and the tourists that saturated the place a few weeks ago have gone home.

The paved road opens up to the street known as Adoquin, and up until three years ago it was the only paved road in town. There’s no shortage of upscale hotels here but only if you know where to look. The nudist and naturalist community love Zipolite, and there are more than a few places that welcome the lifestyle.

If you’ve seen the film, “Y Tu Mama Tambien” then you’ve seen the expansive Playa Zipolite. Great for selfies but not so much for swimming. The deadly currents that prevent the construction of a boat launch make for ideal afternoon surfing but are deadly for swimmers. It’s theorized that the people who lived here in ancient times actually used the strong undercurrent to dispose of their dead or offer them to the gods, leading to the theory that zipolite is an ancient indigenous word that means “The Beach of the Dead.”

That also might be why hardly anyone wanted to live here.

To combat this problem, a group of volunteer lifeguards was formed in 1995, cutting the mortality rate in half. These guys are still here and they’re the backbone of this beach. I’ll be visiting them soon. They’ll save your life in more ways than one.

I’m not staying the night this time around, but I’ll stop by my favorite posada[3] and greet the owner.

Lifesavers

I turn right at the sign with the whale, and I’m on the beach. The little hotel forms a square archway. I walk through it and find my friend lounging in one of the many hammocks. As usual, he’s accompanied by a thick bit of pulp fiction and a thermos of iced tea.

“D!” I extend my hand as I greet him. “Long time, no see!”

This is a joke. I was here about ten days ago.

We take a few minutes to get caught up. He’s planning on heading north again soon. D. is originally from California, and he loves cannabis just as much as I do. He’s been here since the 1990s, when the place was still mostly virgin forest, and he was the first person I met in Zipolite.

The concierge always has a nice fat joint waiting for me when I arrive if I’m staying the night. This time, it’s just a day trip for lunch and a bag of green goodness. D. has a special treat today anyway. He digs into the fridge and brings out a plate filled with brownies.

“I know you’re more of a smoker,” he grins with mischief, “but a friend of mine made these, and they’re exceptional.” He wraps two into a paper towel. “Take them with you. Nice for the bus ride!”

I thank him profusely as we walk back to the hammocks. Now it’s time for me to head next door and get down to business.

I’ll call him Jesus, as I consider him to be my personal savior. I’m sure there are others that think of him that way in a literal sense. If Jesus had a peso for every distressed swimmer that he’s pulled out of the deadly riptide during his career as a Salvavida[4], he could pay for Trump’s border wall all by himself.

When he’s not cheating Death, he’s selling weed. I stand by my belief in his divinity.

Of course, Jesus has his chosen Disciples. The dangerous nature of the ocean means there’s a whole team of Salvavidas and if he’s not here there’s always a kind friend to help you out. Today it’s fairly quiet and Jesus is here with the apostles Matteo and Juan. Matteo has a frisbee on his lap and is rolling a joint, because that’s how you roll a joint on a breezy shoreline.

Juan and Jesus are discussing some surfing later and Juan is motioning towards the Roca Blanca side of the beach, so he doesn’t notice me right away. Matteo sees me first and greets me before handing me the frisbee and offering me his seat. It always gives me a secret joy to see these rough surfers in their board shorts and tattoos being such perfect gentlemen.

He knows what I need, and since it’s not a busy day on the beach he can grab it for me while Jesus and Juan keep an eye on the swimmers. I’ll finish the joint while I wait! Gracias amigo!

By now, of course, Jesus and Juan turn and say hello. They call me Maestra, I reference to my career as an English teacher. It’s what originally brought me to Mexico. When I first started coming to Zipolite I worked at an Oaxacan university about four hours down the road. Juan has pretty decent English and he likes to practice every chance he gets. And there are many chances, since the whole world comes to this beach. Jesus speaks some English and French, but he and I usually speak in Spanish.

Life is basically good, but they have concerns. The mafia comes sniffing around once in a while and limits their ability to sell. Jesus has a good relationship with the local cops, who look the other way for the most part, but there’s always the federal guys and of course, someone is always on the take. Sometimes they sell openly while other times things have to stay quiet. At the moment, it’s a bit of both.

The drug trade is big money here, especially in the high season, and the local organized crime is always trying to get a piece. The Salvavidas know I come here so I can buy weed outside of the crime element. Luckily, Zipolite is well protected by a small, close community that’s more like an extended family. They were here before the mafia, the police, or even the road, and the organized crime thugs at least have some respect for that. There are warnings, sometimes some harassment, but no deaths or beatings. Independent dealers in bigger cities are not so lucky. That’s another story.

I finish rolling. The joint is impossibly fat because I had to bust up the greasy buds with my fingers. Jesus proudly proclaims that he grew this himself on his patio. Totally organic and perfectly flushed, this is his own secret stash.

The thick blue smoke rises from our circle of plastic chairs. It sure beats the hell out of that skanky overpriced “Oaxaqueña” that I find in Puerto. On the other hand, the low-quality of the city weed has been a strong motivation to get the cannabudder recipe right.

Matteo returns with a small bag filled with delicious weedy goodness. I roll another joint from the weed from the bag. It’s the same stuff as the frisbee joint, which doesn’t happen often. It’s low season, Jesus explains, so he can break out the good stuff for the regulars. 

As if listening to a sound that only he can hear, he stops speaking and turns quickly back towards the shoreline. Someone is in trouble, might be a surfer or a swimmer.

Juan is already grabbing a flotation device, and his whistle is clenched between his teeth. All three bolt out from under the palapa[5] without another word.

I don’t take it personally. I hear the lifeguard whistle sound as I find a place on the beach to stretch out and get some color, free of a pesky tan line. Matteo won’t mind if I keep the frisbee for the time being. I’ll get another joint ready for their return, and my mind turns to thoughts of shrimp cocktails and beer.

This is Zipolite, the Beach of the Dead. Bring your gay partner, a bag of weed, the dog, and your bare ass. All are welcome. A true paradise on Earth. 


References

Camp. (n.d.). Zipolite Playa Nudista Mexico [Video file]. Retrieved from https://vimeo.com/259265569

Clarín.com. (2018, February 4). Desfiles, baile y poca ropa en el Festival Nudista de Zipolite. Retrieved from https://www.clarin.com/viajes/desfiles-baile-poca-ropa-festival-nudista-zipolite_0_H1CVqONUz.html

The Dangerous Waters of Zipolite. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://tomzap.com/zip-dang.html

Playa Zipolite. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://tomzap.com/zipolite.html

Destinos – El Universal – Oaxaca y sus Playas. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://web.archive.org/web/20110130084712/www.eluniversal.com.mx/articulos/w30321.html


[1]. A form of public transport that ranges from a minivan to a truck with a canopy.

[2]    A junction of a highway with a city street or main urban road.

[3]    A small hotel with basic amenities.

[4]    A lifeguard. The literal translation is “lifesaver.”

[5]    A roof made with an intricate woven pattern of palm tree fronds.

Luminous Photina

My Easter Season started a few weeks ago. On March 9th, I came to school for class and was pleasantly surprised to find that the regular schedule was suspended to celebrate the Festival of Saint Photina. The students had mixed a few big batches of “flavoured water” (also called “aguas frescas” in other parts of Mexico) which they were serving to the teachers and younger students from the Primary and Kindergarten side.

There were some really nice varieties, including classic favorites like pepino-limon and jamaica along with several creative horchatas. I think it was still the usual rice base but it included papaya and walnut, too. After the teachers and younger students had been served, the students moved the large tubs to the entrance of the school and served free refreshments to passers-by.

Eventually I asked another teacher if there was any deeper meaning behind all this sitting in the shade and enjoying cool drinks when we should be working. It turns out there is.


jan_joest_von_kalkar_-_christus_und_die_samariterin_am_jakobsbrunnen
The original aqua fresca.

Every Friday that is part of Lent has a special meaning, especially in Oaxaca. This Friday March 9th we were celebrating Saint Photina. This festival is unique to the state and not commonly observed in other parts of Mexico. She met Jesus at a well during his journey to Jerusalem, and according to the Gospel of John, the two had an honest and intellectual discussion about spirituality and thirst after she helped him draw some cool drinking water from the dangerously deep well.

Then she converted to Christianity. Not only that, she converted her sons and the whole family went on to travel the world as evangelists before being martyred in Carthage. Legend has it they threw her into a well, a great example of an ending that would never work if you tried to include it in a fictional story, which leads me to believe it might have actually happened. And Christianity is all about how many people you convert and how painfully you die, so she’s pretty important.

Aside from being the inspiration for our school party, Photina is an important figure in Eastern Orthodox Christianity and Asian feminist theology. If you’ve ever met a “Svetlana” you’ve met someone who was named for this saint.

0320photini

Our students were essentially recreating the meeting of Jesus and Photina. Some of the lessons learned during these non-class hours include welcoming strangers, sharing what you have, and being hospitable and friendly in general.


References:

Barbezat, S. (2008, March 6). How to Celebrate the Season of Lent in Mexico [Web log post]. Retrieved from https://www.tripsavvy.com/lent-in-mexico-1588773

Easter in Mexico – Planeta.com [Web log post]. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://planeta.com/mexico-easter/

Water of Life (Christianity). (2017, July 2). In Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved April 8, 2018, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_of_Life_(Christianity)

High Plains Warlock

“Right now, I don’t feel too agreeable.”
***

It was still well before noon, but the desert sand was already too hot to touch. The wind howled over the searing sand like the voice of a banshee, wailing out the same few sour notes over and over.

Averno wasn’t a city of note. It regularly changed hands between the Southsea Pirates and the occasional mining company. At present, it was a group of humans and dwarfs that made up most of the town’s leadership, and mining was their business. And business had been good. A little too good. In fact, the management of the Consolidated Gold Mining Company had a few glaring issues with some former employees regarding outstanding debts.

Mordecai was the only gnome in town, and he was tending the newest headstone graveyard; a dull stone slab that bore no name, when the ghostly figure appeared through the simmering heat. A Warlock. And an Undead one, at that. He could tell by the demonic beast she rode. He watched for a moment and then quickly tidied his tools up. He wasn’t done yet, but he wasn’t going to miss this. The dead weren’t going anywhere.

The Warlock expected to be cordially ignored, so she took special note of the looks she got as she rode into town. Mostly humans, goblins and dwarves; so perhaps not so used to her kind. There seemed to be a unique kind of fear in their eyes, though. It piqued her interest, like the tantalizing smell of dry blood and desert sand. She dismounted outside of the tavern and surveyed the town, putting a long cigar between her lips as she did so.

The trolls in Stranglethorn Vale had taught her that certain large leaves made a fine rolling paper and her herbalism skills ensured there was always something to roll in them. She was about to make herself a light when a gnome appeared at her feet, holding up a match that he was ready to strike.

“Greetings, Captain,” he said politely, and he held the flame aloft, carefully shielding it with his hand. The Warlock leaned forward, grinning at his chosen title for her.

“Thank’ee,” she answered, and stepped into the tavern.

The room was dim. The lanterns and chandeliers stayed unlit in the heat of the day, and the Warlock seemed to like this just fine. She casually regarded the small group that was huddled at the other end of the bar, staring at her stupidly. Her glimmering orbs rolled towards the bartender.

“Beer,” she grunted, pointing at the taps, “and a bottle,” and she waved at the rows of whiskey that lined the wall behind the bar.

“It’s thirsty?” One of the huddled ones muttered, and a ripple of laughter ran through them. She took little notice, but her glowing orbs flickered unmistakably in their direction.

She sat at the other end of the bar, and when the quivering human bartender put the frothy glass in front of her, she dropped a few gold coins in his direction. Much of his apprehension seemed to evaporate at that point.

“Will there be anything else, ma’am?” He asked politely.

“A quiet moment to drink it in,” she answered, waving her hand dismissively. The bartender nodded and backed away. The group at the other end of the bar continued to mutter amongst themselves.

The cigar burned quietly in the ashtray. A long stream of thin smoke snaked past her face into the dark ceiling.

“Think it’s…fast enough?” One of them said, and he turned as if to draw his pistol.
One of the Warlock’s gloved hands reached up from under the bar and grabbed the whiskey bottle. The huddle shuddered and broke up a little, clearly unnerved by her sudden movement.

“I lot faster than you’ll ever live to be,” she rasped. She then drained her beer, picked up her cigar and whiskey bottle, and walked back outside.

Mordecai was still on the porch, and the way that the Warlock opened the door, he could tell she wasn’t too pleased. He wasn’t surprised to see the Boys following her.
Jack and the Boys is what the group was called, and they were thick as thieves. In fact, they were thieves. Thieves, murderers and mercenaries, all three. They were currently employed by the Consolidated Gold to do what they did best. They had a particular target; a former employee, who was expected to return to the city the next morning. That person was clearly not this Warlock. However, it had been a slow day, and they were bored.

They had not been hired for their brains. They obviously knew little about Warlocks and even less about the Undead. Mainly, that you shouldn’t get mixed up with one out of carelessness and boredom.

The Warlock reached the middle of the dusty street, clouds of smoke following her. Jack cut in front of her, giving her a full view of the permanent sneer fixed on his face.

“Trash like you too good for our bar?” He snarled, spitting in the dirt.

“Evidently,” She answered, puffing on her cigar.

Jack carried both a cutlass and a pistol. He was known for his speed and accuracy; hence the rather high price CG had paid for his services. He drew his sword and neatly cut the Warlock’s cigar in half. She took the remaining half slowly out of her mouth and gave it a disappointed look. Her orbs squinted into angry little slits.

“That was rude,” she said slowly. Jack set his jaw and the Warlock watched the thick, blue vein in his neck start to throb.

“You’re just trash,” Jack repeated stupidly. “Lower than pig shit.”

The Warlock did not answer. That layer of flesh covering that swelling vein seemed to get progressively thinner as she stared at it.

“Maybe she can’t hear ya. Got that pig shit in ‘er ears.” One of the Boys decided to contribute to the conversation.

“There’s no need for all that,” the Warlock’s tone was deceptively conciliatory, but her eyes flickered greedily at Jack.

“Don’t know what smells worse,” the other ventured, “her or the pig shit.”

The Warlock smiled at Jack, and spoke a few horrible words. Her face contorted into a glowing visage of dripping fangs and glowing eyes. He screamed and ran away, shaking his head and stumbling as he did so.

The first did not have a pistol. He tried to attack the Warlock with his sword, but her blade was quicker. The hand holding his sword was neatly severed from his body before he burst into flames. The second was already covered in postulate boils when she turned on him, snarling. Another turn and her blade had taken his head. Just as they both fell into dead piles at her feet, Jack came running back towards them, still in the grip of Fear.

The Warlock’s already wide smile grew even wider. She aimed carefully with her bloody sword as he grew closer. The cut would have to be just right.
She swung, carefully and deliberately, cutting Jack’s throat but not severing his neck. In a single motion she planted her sword in the dirt and grabbed a handful of his hair, bending the his open throat back. Blood gushed from the open wound. Moaning greedily, she sank her teeth into the shredded flash and began to feed.

After a few moments, Jack’s knees gave, and they fell like hewed trees into the dirt. The Warlock’s lips were slick with gore. She knelt firmly on his chest, her lips still locked on his neck, seeing to it that she had squeezed every last drop from him.

Slowly, as she was gorged and deeply satisfied, she rose from him and let the blood drip freely down her chin. She calmly picked her sword out of the dirt and took the whiskey bottle out of her pack. She took a long, deep swig. Perhaps now she could get that moment of quiet in the bar now.

When she turned to walk back in, she saw the grinning gnome at her feet again. He seemed oblivious to the murky concoction of booze and blood dripping down her neck. She produced a fresh cigar and allowed him to light it.

“What did you say your name was again?” He asked politely but enthusiastically, as the end of the cigar began to glow.

“I didn’t,” she answered, before stepping back into the bar.

It didn’t take long for Sheriff Rockridge to come bumbling along, sweating profusely. Loch Modan never got this hot, and his Dwarven constitution was pressed by it at the best of times.

Morgan had sent him before the bodies had even hit the dirt. The meeting had only been a few minutes long, but it was the most they had said to each other since the incident.

“It…it did what?” Dominic, the tavern owner, had missed the first part of the conversation. He had stood too long gawking with the other townsfolk. He had walked in on the barber’s description of events. His shop was across from the tavern and he had seen the whole thing.

“Right through the neck, and then she sucked him dry! God damndest thing I ever saw….” He had been saying.

Morgan, the Chief Executive Officer of CG, was sitting at the head of the table. He was dressed formally as usual, in his three piece suit with the polished silver buttons. For the moment he was silent. When he saw Dominic bumble in, he spoke.

“It doesn’t matter what she did,” he said, through clenched teeth, tapping his index finger definitively on the surface of the table. “What matters is that Jake and his boys have gotten themselves killed a single day before they were to be of any real use.”

“They’ve been drinking and smoking and sitting pretty for three seasons,” Mayor Harding chimed in next. He was not only the mayor, but also one of CG’s major shareholders. He always wore his felt top hat, even inside, even on sweltering days like this. “Bloody waste!”

“Harding, you know I can’t stomach cursing,” the town cleric, a dwarf named Hagar, fanned herself with her hand. “Gentlemen, I cannot be the party to the hiring of a mercenary. I am but a child of the Holy Light, a simple cleric…”

“It may be time we unsimplified you, Hagar,” Harding said, with mock politeness. “Our interests, yours, and the interests of this town are identical. “

“If you have another suggestion, then let us know, Cleric,” Morgan hissed, “otherwise, just sit there and sweat with your mouth shut.”

“She’s back in the bar, just walked right back in,” Mordecai poked his head in the door. He was smiling broadly, which enraged the already displeased CEO.

“Then get busy and clean that mess up,” Morgan barked at the little gnome before turning to the scruffy little dwarf. “Rockridge, go to the tavern and have a chat with that…thing. Since she’s the one who ate Jack, maybe she’s the one who can take his place.”

The other patrons at the table nodded enthusiastically. This could be played to their advantage. With a creature like this defending them, their problems would most definitely be over.

“We’ll give her whatever she wants,” Harding said. “Money is no object.”

At this pronouncement, some at the table seemed to balk.

“They’ll be released today,” he leaned forward, and the tall shadow of his hat crept ominously across the table. “And it will take them a day to get here. Any of you gentlemen have any other plans?”

The others nodded stiffly in assent. Except the Cleric, who politely excused herself.
Rockridge put on his floppy hat and marched out the door to speak with the Warlock.

It’s in there, the townsfolk gestured towards the tavern. The Sheriff couldn’t see anything but his own reflection in the dark windows, so he had no choice but to venture inside.

The bartender was the only person inside besides the Warlock herself, who was sitting in a dark corner near the back. Her glowing eyes and the end of her cigar seemed to light up in unison.

“You…you mind if I…” the fat, furry dwarf gestured to the chair. The Warlock replied with an almost imperceptible shrug, and he carefully sat down.

The Warlock took a swig from the bottle. Rockridge saw a few drops of bloody whiskey drip from her chin to her collar.

“Eh…um…you want those things laundered?” He asked, sputtering through his grizzled mustache a little. “We can get Mordecai to give those a right clean boiled wash. Uses lye for pants rabbits, no itch nor scratch!”

The Warlock smiled, a wide, evil smile that showed the rims of her black gums. She slowly shook her head.

“Ahem…well…ma’am, we need to talk about those three boys. N..n..now I’m the Sheriff…and those folks outside, well, from what they say it’s a clear-cut case of self-defense….”

The Warlock coughed and made a funny spluttering noise. It took Rockridge a moment to realize that she had laughed.

“Clear-cut, indeed,” she said, taking another swig. “No charges, then?”

“Well no! No charges ma’am, certainly not!” Rockridge laughed nervously. “B…b…but the boy you killed, ma’am, his name was Jack Borders, and he and his friends were…employed locally. By…by the mining company here in Averno. That was his name, in case you’re interested.”

“Well, I’m not really interested, Sheriff,” the Warlock answered. She pulled at her cigar again, eyeing him rather impatiently.

“We…we still need someone to do his job,” The Sheriff said, fidgeting with his hat. “And his employers, they think you can take his place. See…he was supposed to take care of some…delicate…business for us. Three men are coming back to town tomorrow…and they have to be taken care of. Well, just like you took care of Jack, beggin’ your pardon ma’am.”

The Warlock smiled, but she shook her head.

“I’m not for hire today,” the Warlock answered. “Besides, I have nothing against these men you’re expecting. Who did you say they are?”

“Moe Stubbs, his cousins Jerome and Larry. They were official troubleshooters for CG..um..Consolidated Gold. Moe, well, he knows a few things about the powers of Fel himself. This town…well, we had some trouble with pirates and smugglers. And they took care of it, too, but they got too big for their britches. Started to get pushy…so, well…we had to…”

“Had to…?” the Warlock moved her hand in a circular motion. Normally, she was not this patient.

“Well..we had to take them into custody! Caught them trying to steal a solid gold ingot. Hid it under the floorboards of their shack, they did!”

“Kinda careless of ’em” the Warlock sighed, and drained the rest of her bottle. “Does this company often leave gold lying around?”

“Uhm..well, I can’t say that it ain’t peculiar,” Rockridge pressed the edges of his fingers against the rim of his hat as he spoke. It was covered in sweaty fingerprints. “In fact, Moe kept bringing that up at the trial. Saying that he was bein’ railroaded. That’s why they’re mad at us, y’see our problem?”

“Sheriff, the only problem you’ve got is a short supply of guts,” the Warlock wheezed and rose from the table.

“B…beggin’ yer pardon ma’am,” he said quickly, “but I ain’t no law man! They just hung this thing on me after that young Marshall James was killed.”

The Warlock seemed to hesitate when he mentioned this. Rockridge hurriedly continued.

“Like I said, Moe knew something about shadow magic. And he had a demon, that nice lookin’ one, the one with a whip. That poor Marshall was whipped to death, right here in the street. Bullwhipped!”

“I smelled the old blood on the ground as soon as I rode into town,” the Warlock said, “It was cold, but it reeked of some horrible injustice and a painful ordeal. My curiosity has ensured your survival. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

She turned on her heel and walked outside, much to the relief of the bartender. The fear of Morgan’s wrath drove the grizzled, rotund little man to chase after her.

“What if…what if we gave you anything you wanted?” He spluttered. “Money is no object, that’s what Morgan said! And he’s the man with the gold, he is!”

The Warlock stopped on the tavern threshold and looked at the dwarf closely. Then she asked carefully,

“Anything?”

A few moments later, the Warlock and Sheriff Rockridge were standing in the Dry Goods Store. Mundy, the proprietor, stood by nodding along as the Sheriff and Warlock spoke.

“Anything I want, eh?” The Warlock had reached the end of her cigar and crunched it under her boot-heel as she crossed the threshold and stood among the crates and barrels.

“Certainly Ma’am,” Mundy acknowledged politely, trying to hide his obvious disgust with the creature who had just walked through his door. “Anything you see here, and if it ain’t here we can try to get it for you. And…”

Mundy was suddenly distracted by the other patrons in the store. An older Tauren and her young companions, two little calves who were clinging to her skirts, were standing by a pile of blankets and linens. One had reached out to touch the thick, heavy softness of a dense red one, and this made Mundy forget about the smell for a moment.

“Hey there, keep your…your dirty hooves offa that!” He spat, and waved his handkerchief at them as if it was a flag. “You there, keep those kids under control! Goddam savages!”

The grizzled old Tauren, who was obviously of little means but not without pride, nodded apologetically but drew the children firmly close. The Warlock looked carefully at the young Tauren, as if she was reminded of something. They stared back at her without blinking. The Tauren were allies of the Forsaken and were a race too ancient to know judgment or fear. She stepped forward.

“If I can have anything, then,” she said, and gathered up a handful of the blankets, then dumped them rather unceremoniously into the old Tauren’s arms.

“No, no,” the old Tauren shook her head, staring nervously at the shopkeeper, whose face was turning purple.

“Tell her it’s alright,” the Warlock said without looking back at Mundy.

“It’s alright,” Mundy said in a quiet and controlled voice, the color in his face not abating, even darkening more when the Warlock took a few jars filled with candy from the front desk and handed them to the little ones, who smiled gratefully.

Their next stop was the clothier. Alexis Jennings was a tailor of some repute, and Averno’s nouveau riche had expensive tastes. The Warlock that now stood in her parlor, reeking of gore and grinning wickedly, was not what she’d had in mind when she had set up a shop there. Nevertheless, this was the Warlock that was going to save them from Moe and his boys.

“How’s that one feel?” She asked, as the Warlock draped a hemp cloak with a gold and pearl clasp over her shoulders.

“Not bad at all,” the Warlock croaked back. “I’ll take it.”

“Very good, Madam! So that’s three pairs of hand-stitched boots, embroidered belt with a silver buckle, the woolen cloak…five and two, carry the nine…”

“Ahem,” Rockridge cleared his throat and interrupted her. “That’ll be no charge, Alexis.” And he chuckled with glee when the color drained from her face.

By now a small crowd had gathered to watch the Warlock, led by Mordecai. He stood faithfully by the Warlock with his trusty box of matches in hand. She left a trail of cigar butts along the road.

Their last stop was the tavern. Mayor Harding was talking to Henry, the bartender, waiting for them. He wrinkled his nose as they came in but said little. He greeted the Warlock with the usual protocol, repeating that the town was at her service and would follow any plan she devised for Moe’s defeat.

But she didn’t want to talk business. The Warlock only wanted to buy everyone a drink.

“Even me?” Mordecai asked. “Do I get a get a glass of beer?”

I said, everyone,” the Warlock said. “You, barkeep, what’ll ya have?”

“Thank you very kindly, Madam!” The bartender said, opening the cabinet underneath the counter. “I’ll have a cigar! Now, including the cigar and drinks, that comes to about…”

“Ah, there’s no charge, Henry,” Rockridge said, his fat lips still fixed in the same smile underneath his grizzled moustache. “You was at the meetin’! Whatever she wants, she gets!”

“I…I didn’t know that meant free whiskey and cigars,” Henry sniffled.

“Everybody’s gotta put somethin’ in the kitty, right?” Rockridge countered, his smile widening. He didn’t notice the Warlock’s two orbs shift and turn, and then roll towards him like two granite boulders.

“Right,” she declared. “And since you ain’t a law man, Rockridge, you won’t mind if this town gets a new Sheriff.”

She ripped the shining star from his shirt pocket, then turned to the gnome next to her and pinned it on his vest instead.

“I’m the Sheriff?” He asked, and the Warlock nodded while taking a long draw from her smoke. She drink with deep satisfaction as the little gnome declared triumphantly,

“I’m the Sheriff!”

“You…little…runt…” Rockridge gagged.

“I’m not a runt anymore!” Mordecai said, standing on the bar stool. “I’m the Sheriff!”

“And the mayor,” the Warlock snatched Harding’s felt top hat off his head and dropped it on Mordecai’s. “Any objections?”

“AND I’m the mayor?” Mordecai squealed with glee. “I’m the Sheriff! I’m the Mayor! No more, Mordecai, clean up the mess! Mordecai, fetch the water, do the laundry, shovel the stalls! I’m gonna declare a holiday! Hawt damn!

Hawt DAMN!”

The room was filled with pale, sweaty faces and wild staring eyes. No objections. In fact, nobody said a word. Except for Mordecai, who had noticed a deficiency with his new job title.

“Wait,” he said, “I don’t have a gun. How can I be Sheriff without a gun?”

“All of you need a gun,” the Warlock said. “If we’re going to form a regiment.”

“A…a regiment?” Harding managed to gag.

“The City of Averno Municipal Volunteers,” she replied, her grinning face masked in smoke. “Everyone here is a member.”

She turned to Rockridge, who was shining with sweat and white as a sheet.

“Our next stop is the gunsmith.”

* * *

“Well, that’s that.”

At these words from the Warden, the stockade doors opened, and three men walked out.

They stood blinking in the bright noonday sun. Waves of heat shuddered in the dust that circled their ankles. The Warden followed, and unceremoniously tossed their weapons in the sand.  He backed up carefully, holding his large gun at the ready, as they picked them up. He was the most concerned about the warlock, who picked up his staff without taking his eyes away from the Warden’s face.

“What about the horses?” Moe asked, in a low, grating voice. “We had three good animals.”

“A man of your persuasion don’t need no horse,” the Warden sneered, as he turned and walked back under the gate. “Besides, whatcha think you been eating the past few months?”

“I didn’t eat my own horse,” Jerome said in a pouty voice, as he picked his rifle up and dusted his pants off. “He just up and sold ’em, that’s what he done!”

“Shadap, you imbecile,” Moe snorted, calmly picking up his staff.

“What that’s what he done!” Jerome spouted back.

“I said, shaddap,” Moe growled back. “When we get to Averno, you can have Harding’s horse. Fried or barbecued.”

Both men snickered at the joke. Larry was staring at the horizon as he strapped his gun belt on.

“Looks like we walk some,” he said, squinting through the dusty air. “He and Morgan don’t seem to have remembered.”

“Oh, they’ll remember,” Moe’s voice hardened. “One way or another, they’ll remember.”

* * *

The Gunsmith, a dwarf nick-named Flint, had to bite his upper lip to keep it from trembling when the Warlock stepped over his threshold.

He was ordered to outfit the “regiment” with his finest rifles. The shopkeepers certainly looked funny picking up the weapons that they didn’t understand how to use. Only Harding picked his up with confidence. Morgan was no-where to be seen.

“All right,” the Warlock paced back and forth in front of the tavern. “You expect Moe and his boys about sunrise. You’re all scared as Fel, too scared to do anything about it.”

The Warlock stepped from the last wooden stair down onto the pale, rocky street. She tossed the butt of her cigar into the wind, which came whipping between the wooden buildings with a sudden angry fierceness. The coppery hint of blood lingered in the dust that hovered around her ankles.

“A few guns and lookouts on the rooftops,” She stood in the middle of the empty street and gestured with her gloved hand, “an easy ambush even if you can’t shoot straight.”

The wind hissed against the dry gravel. Then she heard the ghostly voice as it whispered among the broken rocks.

Help me.

Ah, so it speaks. The Warlock was not surprised. Her suspicion that an angry ghost haunted Averno had been confirmed. She turned and regarded the townsfolk. They were watching her intently and had clearly heard nothing.

The wind whistled, this time a strange unearthly shriek in her undead ears, followed by the same harrowed whisper, help me.

That man who had been killed in the street by Moe’s succubus; the former sheriff by the name of James. How long ago had he died in this very street?

“Everyone take a place, see to it that you have a clear view of the road…except you,” and the Warlock pointed to Henry, the proprietor of the tavern. “I need a drink.”

Grateful but confused, the humble bartender shuffled into the shade of his workplace. The Warlock followed, and when she reached the top stair still not a person moved. She sighed, then turned suddenly and snarled rather loudly,

“I said, get up there!”

That was enough to keep them busy for a few minutes. Henry stepped behind the bar and said, “I…um…beggin’ yer pardon, ma’am, but I thought we was…”

“A bottle and a light,” the Warlock ignored his attempt at a question, and produced another cigar from her pack as Henry uncorked the bottle. “I want you tell me about this James fellow, the one who was bull-whipped in the street.”

Henry coughed uncomfortably, and a bit of the whiskey dribbled from the mouth of the bottle. His hands were shaking. The Warlock snatched it away before he could spill any more.

“I…maybe…you might want to ask Mayor Harding about that, ma’am.”

“You mean you didn’t see it happen?” The Warlock moved the unlit cigar that was hanging between her lips and eyed him suggestively.

“Well…we…of course, we all saw it happen.” Henry fumbled about for flint and tinder. Sweat dripped down his face and made his fingertips slick.

“So it was Moe and his succubus? And the whole town just stood around and watched?”

Tired of waiting, the Warlock produced her own flint and tinder and lit the cigar herself. Clouds of smoke swirled around her head.

“L..like I said Ma’am, maybe you should go talk to Harding…”

“Fine,” the Warlock sneered. She had been looking for an excuse to corner the Mayor anyway. “In the meantime..is that your coach out back?”

“Well…no ma’am, that’s Morgan’s private coach. Saves it for when he takes…um…company to one of the rooms upstairs. In fact, I was told to send it out at sunset…”

“Then you have time to put it to use for me,” the Warlock said. “Step out back and drive those horses out into the street. Let’s give our regiment some target practice.”
The Warlock didn’t have time to see the color drain from Henry’s face. She grabbed her whiskey bottle and headed back out to the porch.

The regiment had taken their places on the rooftops. Some were in second floor windows or on balconies.

Alexis was there, watching the preparations and fingering her knife. When she saw the Warlock, it seemed to take no notice of her. She was puffing a cigar and had just obtained a fresh whiskey bottle.

The tailor wasn’t really thinking about what she was going to do. The Warlock stopped, with her back to her, and seemed to be listening to something. Alexis got close enough to see her very own stitching on the cloak before the Warlock spoke.

“You’re gonna look awfully funny with that knife sticking out of your ass,” she snarled, turning to glare at Alexis. Her eyes narrowed at the tailor, who was speechless and out of breath.

“Where’s Harding?” The Warlock asked, taking a swig of whiskey. “You know, don’t you?”

Alexis gagged and shook her head in response but could not speak. She put away her knife and returned to the shade of the porch.

Mordecai was standing in the street as well, proudly brandishing the huge handgun that he had procured from the gunsmith. He was the Sheriff, after all, and that meant he got the biggest gun.

“Orders, Cap’n?” He asked, when the Warlock turned away from Alexis.

“You’ve got target practice,” she said bluntly. “The bartender…Henry is it? Is going to drive a coach down the street. You and the regiment pretend its Moe and his buddies and shoot away.”

“Harding’s coach?” The little gnome was grinning ear to ear. How many times had he been forced to polish up the ebony wheels, or launder those hideous velvet drapes?

“Yes ma’am!”

A clopping sound announced the approaching coach. It was a fine one indeed. The Warlock wasn’t looking in Alexis’ direction any more, but heard her gasp audibly and scurry off. Henry was sitting in the driver’s seat, looking very nervous.

As soon as Mordecai yelled, “Fire!”, he jumped from the seat and ran for cover.

He probably could have stayed safe exactly where he was.

Gunshots rang out over the dusty little street. Not a single one even nicked the moving coach.

“Fire! FIRE!” Mordecai yelled over and over again, his voice now sounding more like a desperate cry for help than a command.

The Warlock sighed, and waited for the unscathed coach to draw closer. When it came within range, she raised her hand and called upon the powers of Fel.

The coach erupted in green and red flames. The horses screamed, and broke from their charred tethers to bolt down the street. The coach ground to a halt and stood in the middle of the street. The burning ebony wood popped and crackled like a pile of pine cones.

The regiment had scrambled from their perches to stand and watch the fireworks. One muttered to Mordecai, “Can she do that every time?”

“Damn right she can,” the little gnome answered proudly.

The Warlock smiled calmly and puffed at her cigar as the coach burned merrily away in the centre of the street.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Moe and his compatriots came across some fresh horses.

The dwarf who was doing the washing up by the campfire was rather surprised when the succubus sauntered over the dry brush and smiled at him. She took no notice of his two human companions, who were sound asleep only a few feet away. Instead, to his amazement and pleasure, the creature gave him her full attention.

He was so mesmerized by her demonic whiles that he didn’t notice the three strangers that calmly followed her. Two drew their swords and guns and slaughtered his companions in cold blood while they still slumbered. They struck the bodies ruthlessly and with furious anger. They were clearly on a path that was drawn in blood and driven by revenge.

“That’s enough, Zoisite,” Moe said, and raised his hand.

As he spoke the horrible word, Zoisite released the dwarf from her whiles and unleashed her lethal whip. It cracked over his eyes and blinded him as his body burst into strips of orange and green flame. He tried to scream and run, but he was a dead man stumbling. Larry grinned with glee and finished him with a gunshot.

“You could have let him burn,” Moe said casually, staring at the burning heap with a ravenous hunger that seem to possess all warlocks. “Nobody can hear him.”

“They´ll have a search party out as it is,” Larry said. “Now, who gets to ride the goat?”

They both looked at Jerome.

“I’m a victim of circumstance,” Jerome simpered, as he grabbed the reins of a rather undersized Alterac ram.

Larry and Moe laughed viciously. They mounted up and started to ride towards Averno as the moon rose in a sharp crescent over the sand dunes.

* * *

Of course Alexis knew where Harding was. He had taken a place with his rifle in her shop, with the supposed intention of using the balcony upstairs as a vantage point. Upon reaching her comfortable and familiar bedroom, however, he leaned his rifle against the wall and lit a cigar. He sighed and sat in a big, comfortable chair and didn’t even bother to draw the curtains. When he heard Mordecai yelling, he rolled his eyes and wondered what they were shooting at but couldn’t be bothered to look. He took a long draw and blew it towards the ceiling.

Idiots, he thought, blowing a puff of smoke into the ceiling. After all this was over, he’d crawl into Alexis’ bed for a few days and let Morgan take care of the business for a while. Where was he, anyway? He could handle a rifle, couldn’t he? He was disappointed that Alexis wasn’t here as well, but she turned up only moments later.

She came puffing up the stairs, and her eyes had a wild look in them. Her skin was pale but her cheeks were flushed.

“Oh, there you are, my dear,” he said, taking little or no notice of her obviously agitated state. “I was hoping you could…”

“Harding, you idiot!” She choked. “Haven’t you been watching? Don’t you understand what she…what that thing is doing?”

“Now, Alexis, honey,” Harding said sweetly, paying no attention to the window, “be a little patient, will you?” He stood up and left his gun behind, leaning against the armchair. “When you meet a creature like this, who’s used to having her way, you let her have it…until she goes too far.”

“Too…far?” Alexis choked and started to raise her voice. “Just what do you consider going too far? Isn’t murder and destruction of personal property even a misdemeanor in this town?”

“There now, honey,” Harding said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders, “There’s too much at stake to throw away on hysterics now.”

“Hysterics?” Alexis voice lowered to a hissing snarl. “Hysterics? I can remember some hysterics! One night not too long ago…”

“That´s enough, Alexis,” Harding’s voice hardened and he gripped her shoulders in a sudden panic. “You keep your mouth shut!”

“What hysterics?” another voice croaked from the doorway. For a moment the only sound in the room was the swish of liquor inside a near-empty whiskey bottle.

Harding turned his head and found himself looking at the Warlock.

* * *
The Warlock stood in the street and stared at the burning coach rather intently, taking the occasional swig from her whiskey bottle. While the ‘Regiment’ cheered at the rudimentary fireworks, her undead ears heard that husky voice again, underneath the crack and hiss of the warping wood.

Help me…help me, damn you.

So, the Warlock thought, you asked for help. Obviously none came. And what did you do then, perturbed spirit?

Curse you, the ghostly voice whispered. Curse you all.

Oh, I see. The Warlock thought. Your curse has come, my companion in Fel.

It was time to find Harding. She had seen Alexis run back into her shop when the coach had clattered out into the street.

The Warlock produced another cigar, and as Mordecai lit it she told him to find out if there was anyone staying in the hotel, and to remove them if there were. Then she turned and strode into the tailor shop. She saw nobody, but heard rather tense voices at the top of the stairs.

“I can remember some hysterics one night not too long ago…”

“That’s enough, Alexis! You keep your mouth shut!”

“What hysterics?” The Warlock asked, as a way to announce her presence.

Harding stared at her, speechless. Alexis’ eyes were fixed on the window, however. The curtains were almost closed; there was a strip of light between them. Something outside was making the light bob and weave in a strange way. The Warlock laughed softly. Smoke hissed out from between her teeth.

Harding let go of Alexis’ shoulders and turned towards the window. He threw open the curtains and stared in horror at the bonfire that was still burning in the middle of the street.

“My…coach…” He murmured, his voice cracking in disbelief.

“My…beautiful…coach…”‘

The Warlock smiled and took a generous swig, leaving the bottle empty. “My coach, actually,” she hissed. “Shame you missed target practice.”

Harding spun away from the window, his face purple with rage. He picked up the gun and pointed it at the Warlock. Alexis screamed and dropped to the floor.

Harding’s anger only skewed his aim slightly. The glass bottle shattered. The Warlock’s right side was torn open, leaving a smoldering hole in her robe. Slivers of bone and glass glittered on the dull wood planks.

“No need for hysterics, Harding,” the Warlock limped towards him, oblivious to her injuries, still holding the broken glass bottleneck in her hand.

Harding’s eyes were wide with a mixture of terror and anger. The Warlock could smell the hot blood in his cheeks and heard the pulpy flesh tighten around his muscles.

He raised the rifle again, and cocked it. His trigger finger tensed.

The gun went off, but the Warlock moved suddenly and quickly. She ducked to the side as the powder and bullet blazed past her, and neatly sliced one of Harding’s outstretched arms with the broken glass. She grabbed it fiercely and was able to take a generous, slurping drink from the open vein before he struggled free and ran from the room.

The gun fell to the floor with a dull thud. Alexis scrambled after him.

The Warlock stood swaying the room for a moment, carefully licking the fresh gore from her lips. She still clutched the piece of bloody broken glass, and her long grey tongue and wizened mouth sucked at it as if it was a piece of candy.

As she limped down the stairs, she heard hoof beats on the ground, and Alexis’ voice screaming,

“Harding! Take me with you…she’ll kill me! Harding!”

The Warlock appeared in the street just in time to see Harding disappear in a cloud of dust into the sunset. A few stars were starting to peep out in the eastern sky. The Warlock puffed at her cigar and lurched towards the inn. There was some commotion at the front door. A few disgruntled guests were arguing with Mordecai about being thrown out of their accommodations.

“If you don’t like it, she’s standing right there.” The gnome said boldly. “Go on ahead and tell her!”

Only one was bold enough to do so; Hagar the Priest. She marched down the stairs and faced the Warlock as she limped up to them, obviously wounded but self-possessed as ever.

“You cannot turn these people out in the street!” The dwarf declared fiercely, trying to ignore the reek of blood and dead flesh that always surrounded the undead. “It’s inhuman, sister, inhuman!”

“I’m not your sister,” the Warlock snarled, puffing at her cigar and regarding the priest with comic interest.

“We are all brothers and sisters in the Holy Light,” Hagar retorted.

“So these people then, they’re all your brothers and sisters?” The Warlock’s smile widened.

“Indeed they are,” the priest acknowledged boldly.

“Well then,” the Warlock’s fierce smile stretched across her face, “they can all stay at your place.”

The pallor on Hagar’s face resembled the colour of chalk. The Warlock went into the inn as the guests filed out, grumbling quietly. She heard Hagar saying,

“We’ll be finding space for you in our own homes…yes, and it won’t cost you more than regular hotel rates.”

Mordecai was sitting at the bar, waiting. He looked rather alarmed when he saw her.

“You alright there, Cap’n?” He asked.

“I’ll be taking the finest room in the house,” she ignored Mordecai and spoke to Henry. “Send up a bottle, will you?”

She would need the space to brew a few healing potions before pursuing Harding. She was not in a hurry; her mount was fast, and her goal was not to catch him.

* * *
The marble quarry was only about an hour’s ride out of town, and Moe had no intention of stopping there. However, when they saw a rider blundering towards them, they came to a halt.

“Wonder who that could be,” Larry said, squinting through the dim moonlight.

“They’re in a bad way, whoever they are,” Jerome said. Even from that distance, the rider apparently had a bad injury on their left arm.

“Don’t you boys recognize that handsome bay?” Moe’s thin, pale lips stretched into a greedy smile, “It’s our old friend Harding!”

* * *

The Warlock had finished with her herbs; she thought of going to the tailor for repairs to her clothes as well. The thought made her cackle so hard she almost didn’t hear the rap at her door. She turned and saw the door open, and the Troll chambermaid appeared with a fresh bottle of whiskey. Not too surprising that Henry would have sent the girl. He was cowering quite a bit when she saw him downstairs.

“You be wantin’ another bottle,” the troll spoke quietly but didn’t flinch or cower like the others. Trolls were even older than the Tauren, and much more fierce.

The Warlock motioned the Troll closer.

“Open it,” she said, “and tell me why Morgan and the CG would have wanted to kill that Marshall.”

“There be nobody that want to talk about that,” she answered, as she uncorked the bottle, “but maybe today, my name be Nobody. So I tell you.”

The Warlock smiled appreciatively and took a generous swallow, listening intently.

“There be a big safe in Morgan’s office. That where the plans and maps for the mine be. It show where the gold be, and where they dig. I not be knowin’ how, but the Marshall, he find the plans, and he find out where the mine going. That the gold be under an old troll city to the east, in the desert. If anyone find out…”

“The Trolls rightfully own the gold, and not CG,” the Warlock smiled. “Not only would Morgan and Harding lose everything, but so would their investors. This sorry town would fall apart. So he asked Moe and his boys to finish him off with a few gunshots and a succubus.”

“You been speakin’ with the Spirit,” the troll smiled. “Yeah, you be here for him. You be his curse. He been waitin’ for ya.”

The troll’s face darkened as she continued.

“And I be waitin’ for ya, too. James…the Marshall…he be a just man. He tell me about the gold. He tell me my people should have it. The night he die, Henry trick me. He lock me in the cellar. I…I hear the Marshall die. And I be helpless.”

The Warlock took a deep, long drink and rose from her chair.

“I’ll be following Harding now,” the Warlock said. “Prepare my horse, will you?”

There was a moment of silence. Then the two dark sisters shared a laugh.
* * *

The gash in Harding’s arm was deep and ugly, as if someone with long, sharp teeth had sliced it and taken a bite out of him. He had lost a lot of blood. His cheeks were almost grey and covered in a thin film of sweat. Moe had pulled him off his horse and they were crouched together in the dirt. His two compatriots stood nearby, impatiently fingering their weapons.

“Moe…” He stammered, breathing heavily, “Moe…things are…Averno has changed…you gotta know…”

“Easy there, Harding,” Moe smiled his thin, hungry smile. “There’s only one thing we need. The combination to that great big safe in Morgan’s office. You just give us that combination, and we’ll patch up yer arm, prop you up in a little tent over there, with a nice cool waterskin…”

As Moe spoke, Harding’s face twisted with rage. A flush of colour passed over his cheeks.

“I’ll give you the combination,” He choked, “The combination to the gates of Fel!”

Moe, whose patience had already been wearing thin, finally lost his temper. He pulled out his staff and smashed Harding’s head open. It took a few steady blows for him to die. As he gagged out his final breath, blood poured from his wounds and formed in a sticky puddle on the dusty ground.

“Sure had a lot of blood left in him, didn’t he?” Jerome chuckled. The others laughed with him.

“I guess we’ll have to blast it,” Larry said, still thinking about the safe.

“We could,” Moe said, grinning at the blood dripping from his knife, “or we could persuade Morgan to…”

The small shrub that Harding was lying beneath in exploded in a ball of orange and green flame, sending Moe and his companions reeling more than a few yards. They scrambled to regroup by a rocky outcropping near their terrified mounts.

“He burned my ear off!” Jerome was screaming and holding the side of his face.

“Must be Morgan,” Larry hissed angrily, peeking out of the shelter and trying to get a look.

“He burned me! He burned my ear off!”

“Shaddup!” Moe snarled back. “Lucky he didn’t burn yer whole head!”

Moe peered out carefully. There did seem to be a figure crouched on the far side of the quarry, at a higher vantage point.

“Morgan!” Moe yelled. “Harding would never have survived that wound! We just put out him out of his misery….”

For a moment they saw and heard nothing but the whining call of the desert wind. Then a low, droning hum before another explosive flew through the air and blasted their meager shelter. There was only a dark void and no noise or fire. It took them a few minutes to dig them from the sand and rock. They heard the galloping hoof beats, fading as they headed towards Averno.

“By the gods,” Moe was still dusting himself off, “when I find out who that was…Jerome! Grab that bay! It’s time to burn down Averno!”

* * *

Morgan, usually so calm to the point of being unearthly, was trembling. Their numbers were dwindling. It seems that Henry had taken to hiding as well. And where was Harding? From what Alexis had told him, it didn’t sound like he was coming back. Both she and Hagar had rushed into his office at the same time, both in a state of extreme agitation.

Alexis had just finished whimpering about her store and the destruction of Harding’s coach. Hagar was growling about immorality and disrespect to the Holy Light.

“That’s enough, both of you,” he said angrily. “Promising is one thing, paying is another! She just might catch a stray Hammer of Justice. We could afford to hire a Paladin! Would that satisfy your monetary loss and moral outrage, ladies?”

They were silent, but he could tell by the hard, angry looks in their eyes that this would satisfy them just fine.

“They’ll be here soon,” Morgan hissed. “I’ll be joining the regiment on the rooftops; taking Harding’s place, as it were. If I were you, I’d find a place to hide. Now get out.”

The moment his two visitors had disappeared from sight, Harding didn’t pick up his gun right away. He grabbed a suitcase and frantically started to fill it, starting with the contents of his safe. Then he picked up his gun, saw to it that it was locked and loaded, and at last he crouched by the window, waiting.

* * *

The Warlock rode calmly back to Averno. Mordecai was waiting for her in front of the inn.

“They’re coming,” she said. “Everyone better be ready.”

“Yes Cap’n,” Mordecai said, with a quick salute. Then he and the Warlock stepped into the tavern, where the simpering regiment was waiting for their orders.

“Alright now, they’re on their way!” The little gnome bellowed. “Everyone take their places!”

They moved rather slowly, but one withering look from the Warlock and they quickened their pace. Mordecai lit yet another one of her cigars, and the Warlock sighed out a large puff of smoke and moved towards the bar.

“Um..ain’t ya gonna give the order to fire?” The gnome asked, as she took a stool.

“Nope,” she answered. “You are.”

There was no sign of the bartender. The Warlock puffed patiently, and after a moment the chambermaid appeared. She had a strange grin on her face.

“What you be havin’?” She asked.

“Beer and another bottle,” she said, and then rather coyly added, “you can keep the key to the cellar.”

“Morgan be on his own tonight,” she smiled and brandished the copper key. “This time he be the one who get tricked.”

The Warlock nodded in quiet satisfaction and started to drink her beer. The troll placed another whiskey bottle on the bar.

There were a few moments of silence. They heard the clatter and thud of footsteps on the roof.

“You really be wantin’ to save this town?” The troll asked after a moment.

“To be honest,” the Warlock mumbled into an empty beer glass, “I don’t know if I like this town all that much.”

The troll smiled again, this time wide enough to show her sharp teeth.

“I be leavin’ soon’,” the troll said, and her voice grew husky with a dark warning, “And I be bringin’ my people back to claim what be theirs. If you be here when we come…”

“I won’t be,” the Warlock waved her hand dismissively. “I just rolled into town for a drink and a peaceful smoke. I don’t care for your gold or Morgan’s mine.”

“If you say so, then that the way it be,” the troll said, and she seemed satisfied.

The Warlock took the bottle, drew a long, deep breath from her cigar, and rose to leave. But she didn’t head for the front door. She walked towards the back door.

“You be watchin’ yer back, Warlock,” the Troll called after her. “The people, they be afraid of you, and that make them dangerous.”

“It’s what these people know about themselves inside that makes them afraid,” the Warlock said without looking back. She turned away and disappeared into the dark night.

* * *

Moe only rode a mortal steed to the quarry so as not to leave his companions behind. Now, he had mounted his felsteed and rode a few meters in front.

Mordecai saw the cloud of silvery dust approaching them in the moonlight. All three were riding hard.

“Here they come!” The gnome yelled, drawing his own weapon.

The riders were visible in the dull light. Moonlight shimmered off the lake, creating three stark silhouettes against the grey sand. In only a few seconds they would be in range.

The wooden house nearest to the riders suddenly burst into flames. An angry little imp hopped in with the horses, screeching and throwing balls of green fire.

“Fire!” Mordecai screamed, “Fire, fire, fire!”

Hardly a shot was fired by the regiment. Most dropped their guns and ran in fear as the three horses rode into town. Mordecai managed to fire a shot or two, but he too ran in fear when Moe blazed through the street on his unholy steed with a screaming demon on his shoulder.

Larry fired a few shots, sending most townsfolk screaming. Jerome fired at the rooftops with both pistols, sending the regiment running. Moe threw his fel fire wildly in almost every direction, his little demon lighting up almost everything he missed.

“Get everyone in the tavern,” Moe yelled over the crackling flames, “I want a drink before we burn it down!”

* * *

Henry had managed to escape from the cellar just in time to run into the bar and see Moe and Larry. He was also shocked to see many pale, frightened faces crowded into his bar.

“M…Moe,” he shuddered and looked around nervously. Neither the Warlock nor his chambermaid were anywhere to be seen.

“Get me a bottle,” Moe hissed, observing the frightened crowd and drinking in their terror. “Hurry up!”

He snatched the bottle and took a swig. Then he looked at Larry and asked,

“Where’s Jerome?”

“Right here,” Jerome answered, as he came in the door dragging a struggling female figure, “and look what I found hidin’ in the bushes!”

He tossed the hapless Alexis roughly to the floor. Her hair and clothes were in tatters and she was blubbering loudly. Moe’s poisonous smile widened when he saw her.

She looked up at him and whimpered.

“Moe, it was always you,” she sobbed. “That’s why Harding hated you…he knew how much I loved you!”

“Yeah?” Moe said, his teeth showing as if he planned to take a bite out of her. “I bet you just cried yourself to sleep every night, thinking of me in that territorial prison.”

“Oh, I did, Moe, I really did!” She wailed.

“I can just see it now, you riding around in that fancy coach, lyin’ in that fancy bed, just a-cryin’ and a-humpin’…”

“Oh no, Moe, no,” she whimpered and dropped her eyes.

“Let’s go and see to that safe,” Moe snarled, looking away from Alexis.

“Moe…Moe, you’re gonna take me with you, aren’t you?” Alexis sniffled and looked up at him with dewy eyes.

“I can do better than you in a four-bit Ironforge fancy house,” Moe slurred. Then he viciously threw the half-empty bottle across the room. It smashed, spraying the crowd with whiskey and bits of glass.

“Gimme another one,” he hissed at Henry. “Come on, hurry up! Jerome, why you still standing there?”

“Goddam right, I’m still standin’ here,” he said angrily, the side of his face still caked with what was left of his ear. “Who was the sumbitch that ambushed us in the quarry?”

A number of frightened eyes flickered back and forth, but no-one spoke.

“I got a feeling we’re gonna find that out right now,” Moe snarled, and motioned to his demon.

The captive townsfolk cowered together, holding their collective breath in a terrified silence.

The crack of a whip shattered the unearthly quiet. It swung through the door and wrapped around Jerome’s neck, dragging him outside. Then the vicious giggle of a succubus.

Moe froze for a moment. The shrub that burst into flame; it had been an immolate spell. The explosion in the sand; a shadowbolt. And now…a succubus.

Who was the other Warlock?

Jerome did not have time to look before a vicious whiplash tore through both his eyes. He stumbled blindly into the middle if the street, screaming.

“Who are you?”

The harsh desert wind wailed, the fires that burned in the street spat and hissed. The succubus laughed heartlessly. The townsfolk stood frozen inside, like they had that other dark night, listening, listening to a helpless man scream.

“Don’t hurt me! Please don’t hurt me! Help me! Somebody help me!”

The whip wrapped around Jerome’s neck, silencing him forever. Moe and Larry ran outside and found him lying in the dry sand, mouth and eyes wide, frozen with a mask of terror. There was no sign of a succubus or a warlock, but there was an unmistakable smell that neither man could ignore.

“A Forsaken,” Larry sniffled, and added in a frightened whisper, “Moe, the goddam horses are gone!”

By now the townsfolk had quietly filed out to the porch. They stared with a morose silence at Jerome’s prone body. None made a sound, as if the fear had left them, and all that was left was a dull acceptance.

“Check the barn,” Moe said, trying to look through the smoke and fire that was filling the street. His demon whimpered fitfully.

Larry ran to the barn. He had barely looked inside before he heard a strange whisper. It seemed to rise up from the ground and fill his ears like a cloud of dust.

Help me.

“Who’s there?” He drew his gun. “Who are you?”

Something shuffled in the darkness. A dark figure rose through the dim light. He squinted and cocked his gun.

“Who are you?” He yelled in panic.

This time the whip slipped down from above and tightened around his neck. He was lifted roughly from the ground, his body rocked with violent gagging. Moe rounded the corner just in time to see his legs stop twitching. He too, saw a shadowy figure in the barn, just long enough to send in his demon.

The spiky little creature hissed angrily and bounced towards the fleeting shadow.

There was the flash of metal, then another, and the creature was quickly returned to the Fel fires that spawned it.

Moe growled with frustration, and cast his most fearsome spell. The threshold of the barn was filled with straw and cobwebs and lit up very quickly. Moe could see clearly inside for a moment, but there was nobody there.

Moe turned and stood in the street, brandishing his staff in front of him more like a shield than a weapon.

She was standing in the street, waiting for him. He could see her glowing eyes, and smell the rot of decaying flesh and old blood when she exhaled. In one of her gloved hands she held a sword.

Then he heard a sharp whisper. At first he thought it was her, but it seemed to come from the ground, and sounded oddly familiar.

Help me…

He cast a shadowbolt at her as he ran for cover. It missed. She ran after him and seemed to sail over the ground like a ghost, all glowing eyes, sharp steel and jagged yellow teeth.

“Who are you?” He cried, turning wildly to face her, understanding at last that there was nowhere to run.

“Who are you?”

The blade swept through the dusty air, catching the first pale light of dawn as it drew Moe’s blood. It sliced into his chest, which burst in a shower of blood. The Warlock’s face was doused with it as she drew closer, straightened her sword, and drove it through his collarbone. She ran her long tongue from the hilt to the blade as the blood streamed down it’s shaft, drinking in the warm gore, until she was face to face with him.

“Who…” Moe gurgled, but that was all the breath left in him. She pushed him off the blade and he crumpled into the gravel, dead.

The Warlock stood in place for a moment, hungrily licking the thick blood from her blade. So distracted was she by it’s savory taste that she didn’t hear Morgan’s careful, quiet footsteps behind her.

He raised his gun, aiming carefully.

A shot went off, but it was not his.

This time Mordecai’s aim was true. Morgan fell face down into the dirt, a suitcase stuffed with coin and banknotes resting next to him.

* * *

Hagar clutched her prayer book as the early morning sun started to climb over the sandy dunes, performing the last rites as quickly as protocol would allow. Like many others, she was in a hurry to get out of town. Rumor had it that marauding trolls were on their way to claim the mine.

Mordecai was in the graveyard as well, finally seeing to it that a certain unmarked grave would have a name. The Warlock stopped by him as she was leaving.

“I’m just about done here,” he said quietly. “You sure I can keep the rest of that money?”

“I’ve taken my share. You’re handy with a gun,” she peered at him from under the brim of her hat, orange orbs glittering with mischief. “Get yourself some training.”

“I never did know your name,” he said.

“Yes, you do,” the Warlock replied. Her felsteed growled and hissed, then lurched into the hot desert wind. In only a few short moments, she was gone.

Mordecai stood and watched her fade away. The grave next to him read,

MARSHALL THOMAS JAMES
REST IN PEACE

 

 

Notes about the references;


The story is taken from my favorite western film, “High Plains Drifter.” I’ve always based Hyzanthlay’s character on the Drifter somewhat, which Clint Eastwood pulls off in this film with a particular supernatural meanness that any Forsaken Warlock would appreciate.

Lago Averno is the lake just outside of Naples, Italy. Legend has it that this is where the legendary hero Aeneus was shown visions of the future in Virgil’s epic poem “The Aenid”. Local Neapolitans still claim the lake, formed from a volcanic crater, is the gate to Hell. The town in the original movie is called “Lago” and I’m pretty sure the Italian director knew what he was doing.

Consolidated Gold is a mash-up of a few names of Canadian mining companies, which are some of the worst industrial polluters and perpetrators of worker abuse on the planet. They openly shoot union bosses, bribe and coerce local authorities, and flout local environmental laws. Several politicians currently working in the Canadian government are closely connected with Barrick, for example.

Many of the antagonistic townsfolk in the story are named after some of the teachers I knew in junior high school. They were some of the worst people I have ever known. Only in a Catholic School system could these kinds of people have access to children.

Other references include Rockridge, the name of a city from another great western, “Blazing Saddles.” Moe, Larry and Jerome are the names of the Three Stooges.

Zoisite is the name of one of the Dark Generals from the first season of Sailor Moon.

With special thanks to director Sergio Leone and scriptwriter Earnest Tidyman.